Peace finally

ok, for a moment. i really tot i am gg crazy for e nite. kaoz. so much stuff to do b4 i go for my short wkend trip (wuxi, nanjing)and i was reali horrendously shock to find a unexpected guest. and oh yesh, he claims tat he is leaving soon(5 min) but e 5 min became close to an hour and he happily offered to stayover .sleep in e boys'' sleeping bag in MY room...he smell of beer & cigarette which i cant stand lor. plus i really want peace for e night... he sat on my side of my bed. keep talking to me when i am doing work... used our hse phone to call some transportation helpline..(at least 1rmb per min type)..asked me for a face towel. did not take my hint tat he will stink e sleeping bag..(beer + cigarette),,i said 3 times at least.and e best part was, e person who brought him back is gg out.. so i am stuck wif e GUEST!!!

but luckily.. phew. to my greatest relief, she sensed my "awkwardness" and my desire to be left alone.. and rejected his request to stayover.yippe. she told him we arent prepared and i may find it inconvenient. she also sort of "apologise" tat he is being so noisy (which i agree).. he asked me if i mind and i reali wanna say i do.. he expected me to say it;s ok and stand on his side by allowing him to say. but i merely said "no comments" and would have gladly agree if he did nt stink of beer + cigarettes. oops. quick offensive hor. but i wasnt in e best of mood u see.

ok, dun bother guessing. those who noe will noe. those who dont, dun need crack yr head. COZ i reali have nothing against e person.. he is nice and sweet and generous to gals. (correction: some gals) and it is just tat i am antisocial and i like to be left alone. esp when i have so much things to do and i am stil stuck on doing some stupid translation.

To go or not to go hOme

--- Go!!!　---
Pros
-Utilise e return ticket. bring 30kg lugagge back.
-buy 3-6mth open 2 way air ticket ~1000sing, get back 400sing reimburse.. top up 600sing
-I miss my friends/relatives/family
-no tour in may!!!
COns
- need to take more leave to come back & (tentative) to accompany my sis & mum when they come over in end May
- no thailand also if i am alone. =(.e rest nt gg back since they went back in CNY liao and also coz more time in thailand = less time in singapore.
- I am in bad shape now. fatter & more pimply.

---Dun GO---
Pros
- i can go travel in May
- refund. money goes back to NUS. LUGI
-save money. Onli top up 100sing for one way ticket back in aug
- dun need take so much leave.
Cons　　
-Absolutely no thailand..sobz
-No extra baggage..30KG lei. V exp to ship
　
------COnclusion: I dunno!-----

ARgh.......

received email fm gabriel.. our NOC director..

Dear All,

The scheduled end of internship for your batch will be 21 July 2006 as the start of the new semester in NUS is 14 Aug 2006. (Orientation week is 7 Aug 2006)...

wah sey. so late!! and.. i have 5 more mths!!! 好久啊！which means i am staying even longer den e ntu student! humph..

Confession

pretty stressed wif NVC. know NUTS abt finance.
oops, din noe it was so obvious. rh noted i was abnormally quiet.
haiz. time to read up.

Johari & Nohari Window

Hey friends,

had been seeing lots of this Johari & Nohari Window gg round. so decided to try as well. self-reflection/evaluation test.

step 1 - is to set up a johari ( Strength) or Nohari ( Weakness) window by selecting 5/6 adjectives tat u tink describe yrself..and you will be given a url link..

step 2 - get yr frenz to do e test..they will select adjectives that tehy think describe you

step 3- proceed to analysis and get to know yr known and unknown strengths and weaknesses

BTw, mine is at
http://kevan.org/johari?name=cheewei (strengths)
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=cheewei (weaknesses)
hee =)

SNOW@ shanghai

yesh. wanted to blog this quite quickly..abt snowing in shanghai but renhao beat me to it. #$#^%$^..

anyway.. had my sec encounter wif "snow-rain" ytd at work and took a video. (chk out my video @ http://weidiz.multiply.com/video/item/1).. was v contented liao and waiting and praying for more snow. and..

tis morn, woke up..chk hp and saw jason's msg. "snowing heavily at nanhui now".. so..i jumped out of my bed.. drew my curtains. and cant believe wat i saw... CENTURY PARK wif WHITE TREES.. v v beautiful.. ran out of my room to e living room.. saw e wonderful sight..hesitated b4 i went into e boys'room to wake them up. being guys. they merely nod and remarked tat ytd also gt snow wat..i gave up and went to enjoy e scenery again. BUT. feeling defeated.. i went into ron's room and told him. OK..reluctantly, he went to the window to see see.. and EXCLAIMED.. wah..!!

haha, stil believing in sharing gd stuff.. i went into e guys room again and reali wake up them. dragged them out of bed for them to see for themselves.and yesh. now tat they believe me lor. everyone started taking photos and videos and exclaiming “下雪了！下雪了！”ok. being e greedy me. and easily excited. i suggested tat we shd ALL go down and take photo... luckily ron supported my idea (actuly he is gg to work lah).. went on to convince e guys. they stil wanna sleep BUT i told him if e snow stop.. i will 找他们算账！they finally agreed. YESH! den alvin gg KTV mah.. den justin finally decide to go gym.. and we den become FULLY attired for SNOW.. finally gt my chance to wear my cap & scarf.. so exciting.

we went down.. and seem to be e only ones without umbrellas.. we get excited over e snow on e cars.. on e bushes and trees and everything! all e way fm our hse to e MRT station (i walked e guys there..)..we wrote silly msg like "i love shen, SING, "(alvin wrote his name)..on cars..we start silly snow ball fights. we take videos/pictures.. i made a mini snow man.. which i left at e 世纪广场.. everything v fun!

haha. photos & videos uploaded @ http://weidiz.multiply.com

Yuan Xiao Dinner

ok, just a quick blog to update b4 i go for work.yup, had yuan xiao dinner at rendenzous merry hotel..paid 100RMB for it thou.. helped out as reception. oklah. nt tat bad, except tat some singaporeans r super impatient and rude. OMG..

was at e same table as tom & this "ang" family. they had 2 quite teenagers and it is quite fun sitting wif them. and yesh we played bingo and i won full hse 1000RMB.. yeah! but den. coz mr ang paid for e tic, i guess it was only right tat we split e money. so e winnings become.. 1000/10 = 100RMB. just enuff to cover e ticket. not to mention tat coz i helped out..and was e last counter. i barely eat lor. haiz. lugi lei.. hehe and of coz gt to incur travel cost too. haha

lalala, and ytd. e ntu student arrived. ok lor, nothing much to say yet. we shall see =)..had nice dinner wif renhao & justin also. (alvin joined us later) was meeting for shen stuff. finally we gt sth moving a bit. haha..

lastly to all, Happy V dae!

Tuesdays with Morrie

Haha, seems like a rather “spiritual” weekend for me. Reading self-help books. Ok, mebbe to some, it seems like a rather sad life. Nothing better to do den read alone at home. But I guess I do enjoy my time reading and gaining different insights. =)

Ok, Tuesdays with Morrie is abt the sharing lessons between a student, Mitch and his college sociology professor, Morrie, on every Tuesdays in the last months of Morrie’s life. Lessons in how to live.

Lessons shared include:
1. The world - the most important thing in life is to give out love, and let it come in.
2.Feeling sorry for yourself – putting a daily limit on self-pity rather than spending all e hours feeling sorry for yourself.
3. Regrets – people do not think about what is missing from their lives until they are about to die. We are too caught up with life to take a step back and question what we want in life.
4. Death – Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live
5. Family – Love each other, or perish. Without love, we are birds with broken wings.
6. Emotions – To overcome your emotions, you need to first let your experience penetrate you fully and completely, recognize the emotion before you can detach yourself from that emotion.
7. Fear of aging – you have to find what’s good and beautiful in your life as it is now. looking back makes you competitive. Age is not a competitive issue. Having been through every age and knowing what it is like. You can be at every age, up to your own.
8. Money – People who are so hungry for love as accepting substitutes. But it does not work. Money, material things and power are not substitutes for tenderness. When you most need it, they cannot give you the feeling you are looking for, no matter how much of them you have.
9. How love goes on – death ends a live, not a relationship.
10. Marriage – Rules to keep love and marriage: respect, compromise, talk openly, share common set of values, esp the importance of marriage
11. Our culture – There is innately nothing embarrassing about woman not thin enough, nor man not rich enough. That is what our culture would have you believe. Don’t believe it. Every society has its own problem. The way to do it, is to run away but to work on creating your own culture
12. Forgiveness – Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others. There is no point in keeping vengeances or stubbornness.

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops” , Henry Adams

COMMENTS: Hmmm, yup, another “act-cheem” blog by me. Ok, personally I feel tat the whole idea of the book (If you know you are going to die, you will do things differently.) ties into Habit 2. (Begin with the end in mind). Basically, both requires us to step back and think about what we want to achieve in life, keep that in mind, set the right direction and work towards it. In the process, take note not to be blinded by material things, power, fame and not to treat the means as the ends.

Hmm, pretty cheem huh…inspiring BUT I stil dunno what I want in life.

7 Habits (Part II)

ok, just as a recap k..

Habit 1: Be Proactive – it is based on the 4 unique human endowments of imagination, conscience, independent will and self-awareness. It empowers us to say that we are the creator.

Habit 2: Begin with the end in the mind – is the first or mental creation. It is based on imagination and conscious.

“What lies behind and before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us” Oliver Wendell Holmes

1. Means to start with a clear understanding of your destination and what really matters to you. Ensures that the steps you take are in the right direction.
2. Based on a principle that all things are created twice. First creation is mental, second is physical.
“Management is doing things right; Leadership is doing the right things.” Management is efficiency in climbing up the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.
Effectiveness-often even survival-does not depend solely on how much effort we expend, but on whether or not the effort is on the right area.
3. No management success can compensate for failure in leadership. But leadership is hard because we are often caught in a management paradigm.
4. People can’t live with change. if there is not a changeless core inside them. The key to ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value. With a personal statement, we can flow with changes.
5. Our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom and power.
Security – sense of worth, self-esteem, basic personal strength or lack of it
Guidance – source of direction in life
Wisdom – perspective on live
Power – capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something
6.Principle centered. By centering our lives on timeless, unchanging principles, we create a fundamental paradigm of effective living. It is the center that put other centers (spouse, family, money, work, possession, pleasure, friend, enemy, church, self) in perspective.
7.Left brain: logical/verbal; deals with analysis; sequential thinking
Right brain: intuitive/creative; deals with synthesis; simultaneous and holistic thinking;
8.No involvement, no commitment
9. “He that is good with the hammer tends to think everything is a nail” Abraham Maslow.

Habit 3: Put First Things First– is the second creation, the physical creation. It is the fulfillment and actualization of habits 1 and 2.

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” Goethe
Manage form the left (brain), lead from the right (brain).

1. 2 factors that define an activity: urgency and importance. Effective people stay out on unimportant activities, shrink urgent and important activities and focus on important but not urgent activities. (Quadrant II)
2. The enemy to the “best” is the “good”. Keep in mind that we need to say “no” to something. Even if it is good, the good can keep us from the best, if we let it. To have the independent will power to say “no”, we need to have a bigger “yes” burning inside.
3. 4 Generations of time management:
First generation – notes and “to-do list”
Second generation – plan a schedule
Third generation – clarify values, set goal, plan each day and prioritize activities
Fourth generation – on P/PC balance. Focus on Quadrant II
4. Quadrant II management : 6 criteria (coherence, balance, focus, people, flexibility, portability); 4 activities(identifying goals, selecting goals, scheduling, daily adapting)
5. The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.
6. 2 types of Delegation
Gofer – one-on-one supervision, focused on methods.
Stewardship – focused on results rather than methods. Involves expectations in desired results, guidelines, resources, accountability, consequences.

Habits 1-3 deal with self-mastery, guides people fm dependence to independence. They are the “private victories”, the essence of character growth.
--- end of sharing session 2---

COmments: ok, the way to self-mastery is way so difficult and tedious, requiring lots of discipline man! oops, i am not saying that i am giving up the idea of becoming a more effective person BUT.. i will slowly change lah. i personally feel habit 1 and 2 are easy.. coz it is abt changing mentality. you know, abt mindset., to try to think that you r e creator and to try to visualise the result before embarking on what you are going to do. habit 3. the effective management of scheduling of priorities is the challenging one. especially i have to admit that i am one with short attention span. easily distracted by urgent but unimportant things. or.. will take the easy way out and simply slip to clear unurgent and unimportant things to make it seem like i am doing work. now that i realise tat i am so prone to do ineffective work. one gd example. to blog. haha. i duno lei. it seems to be fall under the category. so folks, to justify the time i spent to blog abt e book and what i learn, i reali hope you find it useful.. =)

gona take a break now... mebbe switch to "Tuesday with Morrie."
disclaimer: not tat i dun have proper work to do. but i would stil like to indulge myself in umimportant and unurgent stuff. at least for today. oops =P

7 habits of highly effective people - Stephen R.Covey

**UPdated** why updated? coz i realised my points are too succint to the point of being too vague. so added more of my personal insights and elaboration

Hey friends, i am now reading this business/self-help. actuly like most ppl, i am quite skeptical abt e effect of such books. anyway, no harm trying and to gain different insights.

Recommended approach by author:1. browse once and refer when required, 2. inside-out approach: read with the purpose of sharing. ok, so here i am, taking the effort to summarise wat i had learnt to share with anyone interested. i do like some of the quotations here and there. =)

Foreword:
1. human nature is 4 dimensional – body, mind, heart, spirit
2. Paradigms - the way we see things (“lens”) in terms of perceiving, understanding and interpretating.
“For every thousand of hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the roots” Thorean
Therefore, to change/improve ourselves, we have to take an inside-out approach and start with our paradigms.
3. Principles – “lighthouses”. Natural, fundamental laws that cannot be broken.
“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” Albert Einstein
Principles are very important and fundamental. Our paradigms are based on our principles
4.Primary greatness- character. Secondary greatness- recognized talent
Everything boils down to our character.

Overview:
1. Habits – intersection of knowledge (what), skill (how) and desire (want).
We can change our habits, if you know how and what to do and if we want to do it
2. Maturity continuum – dependent à independent à interdependent, while interdependent is a choice by independent people only
We all started as being dependent on others, family as a start. We will grow to become independent and to maximise our own potential. Beyond independence, comes interdependence, when we recognise the fact that we are limited in certain extend, and we need to work interdependently to achieve even more.
3.P/PC balance: P – production (golden eggs laid by the goose); PC – production capability (goose)
We need to balance our P and PC. Over emphasis on P(the results), without maintaining our PC(asset) will limit the durability and lifespan of our PC, leading to overall inefficiency.
4. Each of us has 3 assets. Namely physical, financial and human.
Follow up from P/PC balance, we must manage our 3 different assets (PC)properly but not blinded by short-term results. (P)
5. “No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or emotional appeal.”

Habit 1: Be Proactive
1. Self-awareness – Ability to think about your own thought process.
Humans, unlike animals, is endowed with this ability to follow our own thought process and thus about to assert control over it.
2. 3 social maps based on stimulus/response theory – genetic determinism; psychic determinism; environment determinism
Genetic as in heritary, psychic as in to do with upbringing and environment as in the society sterotype etc.
3. However, between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose how to response as we possess self-awareness, imagination, conscience and independent will.
“No one can hurt you without your consent”, Eleanor Roosevelt
“They cannot take away your self-respect if you do not give it to them”, Gandhi
It is not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at al. In fact, our most difficult experiences can become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well.
4.Proactive VS reactive
Proactive – driven by value Reactive – driven by feelings
Take Love for example.
Reactive people make love a feeling. Proactive people make love a verb. They subordinate feelings to value, to something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self.
5. 3 central values by Viktor Frankl: experiential (which happens to us); creative (which we bring into existence); attitudinal (our response in difficult circumstances)- Attitudinal being the highest of all.
Taking initiative – Act, not to be acted upon. Problems can be under direct or indirect control or not under control at all. Proactive people will expand the circle of influence as suppose to circle of concern.
6. Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.
It is not what others do or even our own mistakes that hurt us the most; it is our response to those things. Chasing after the poisonous snake that bites us will only drive the poison through our entire system. It is far better to take measures immediately to get the poison out.
Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again.

ok, end of sharing session 1 =)

comments: ok, seems like being proactive is really the way to psycho ourselves that we can MAKE things happen. to make us feel more in control and RESPONSE as we deem so that it will not affect subsequent events. pretty tough but NOT unachievable thou. What i highlight in blue is what i personally feel is more enlightening and what i hope to take note of. to be a more effective person (effective not solely in terms of work, producing tangible results. BUT effective in the sense that i will not live my live in vain. =)..)

有话直说

when i am truly bothered by sth, i dun say out.(not to anyone at all)..so when i do say out, it means i am no longer bothered by it. thou i may still appear to be buay song..for the sake of being buay song..deep inside.. e buay song is nt reali coz of watever which i appear to be buay song abt... sometime, i am just buay song tat my buay song-ness is left unnoticed. sometimes, i am not really that buay song but act to be buay song.. (to catch attention?)..reali dumb hor.

everytime without fail, i will regret after acting in that way. i reali dun mean it.. but i dunno why i just like to "zhuan niu jiao jian"..no wonder my mum calls me "huan po".. when i was young..(hokkien for gal who keeps whining..)..accordin to her, i keep throwing tantrums and refused to have my hair washed all e time. she so pek cek, she cut my hair real short. guy-styled.. haha.. and ya, i have tat 2 "hair-rings"..ppl say e more u have, e more stubborn and diff u r... oops..i am reali NOT as gd tempered as some friends tink.. but my temper usually come easily and go off as easily..

duno if u noe wat i mean. it doesnt matter if u dun. coz basically i just wanna pen tis down to serve as a reminder for myself to curb my..bad temper... dear friends, feel free to scold me and remind me abt tis k. sorry for not appreciating my friends at times and thanks for tolerating me for being unreasonable and cheering me up (大错特错..).. i noe it is reali tiring to do so esp when you have other things on yr mind too. =)

lalala.. finally gt it off my chest. gotten over everything and look forward to starting e new year!

adding on to previous blog: there can nvr be a prefect trip..the unexpected always occur.. disneyland full hse, visa probs..GZ shops nt open.HK motel full hse, we get tired,moodswing, others cut quene, diff ppl diff views..splitting up...BUT..somehow, we had overcame everything together..and turned it into memories of the silly mistakes and disagreements, laughters, private jokes, gossips, taglines, photos and videos... ending off, i quote.."trips r tests.." i interpret..tests of one's true colours, temper, habits, character, tolerance, EQ..etc..thru trips we get to know each other better and develop fm there. nt sure how i scored..nt even sure if i had passed. if i din, do give me a chance to retake.=)

Housemates r back!

Oh gosh.. I wrote a super long blissful blog.. and multiply gt error.*&@!#)&#$@%# spoil my mood. Ok. Shall try to repeat my blog den..

lalallaa..SO...As I was saying.. all my hsemates r finally back! Yohoo~ din noe I missed having them ard Sooo much =)

And of coz.. wif them, they brought lots and lots of yummy goodies.

1.CNY goodies.. love letters, egg cakes, pine apple tarts, fried dried bananas, peanut cookies..lim chee guan 肉干和肉松, bangawan solo PANDAN cake..ferraro roche, some rich mousse like choc fm Justin.. (hand-fed)..etc etc..
wah..so overwhelming.. so touched.. but tink they shd be bring most of them to their office to eat. We obviously cant finish them de.

2.Stock-up food – much-missed 出前一丁noodles.. 3-in-1milo ready mix, Nescafe packs..

3.spices and sauces, 3 bottles of chilli (at least), lots of sauces (mee-siam, mee robus, curry, tomyam.. )

4.KAYA!! – I asked for kaya and they brought a total of 6 bottles back! Yeah (3 fm huiling, 2 yat kun one fm xuemin and 1 big one fm alvin).. so sweet of them!!

5.Specially packed CNY goodies package fm SHALLENE -.. pine apple tarts, dried mango, cashew nuts, hay bee hiam, peanut cookies, other butter cookies, choc biscuits.. wah wah.. so so sweet and totful of her. Shd be bringing them to my office to let my colleagues try and also to split e FATS.. wah-haha..

Lalala, seems like my mood sort of improve after typing and recalling lei. Yeah!

Back! fm guilin-yangshuo-shenzhen-hongkong-guangzhou

ok, now already 1 am liao. so.. in e midst of unpacking. would just like to pen down some random tots abt my 7 days trip wif rh, yw & yx. shall nt be detailed due to time constraints

lUvS:
a. supper at yangshuo: beer fish, shrimps,escargots..yummy but ex
b. e whole day @ yangshuo - bicycle, rafting & cave exploration (bouncy van ride)
c.hongkong FOOD -Yun TUn noodles, Dim SUm, dessert, street food.. YUMMY
d. Da Yu Shan - Serene and majestic
e. Train ride to Disney - (only to entrance. tix sold out. sobz)
f. Guangzhou - zhu hai, Scholars' Area
g. cute baby gal on e train to guilin.. and cute little boi boi who keep on talking on e plane back to shanghai.. hee

No-NO:
a.26hrs train ride to guilin
b.OFF pub visit @ Yangshuo
c. sleeper bus ride to shenzhen..so cramp..(actuly ok lah)
d. search for motel (@ hongkong & guangzhou
d. the stupid shops at Guangzhou that refused to open TIL chu 9!!!
e.my erratic mood swings. (oops..it comes and goes easily. only affected den and then. over after tat de. =) no offense pls....friendships r v impt to me)

tag line of e trip: 相亲相爱, "亲"一个!