Reflections (wrote fm 30 dec to 31 dec).
So many negative tots these days. Actuly, every morning I will wake up feeling quite positive lei. Esp tat fateful day on tue. I stil remember while I was on the company bus, I did nt sleep like as usual. I am thinking abt al e nice gd things and ppl I encountered here, admiring e blue sky & the barren trees. I also had impulsion to blog abt all wonderful stuff. But somehow, by e end of the day, my mood would had changed drastically lor. Sianz. Anyway, as I said ytd, “today will be better”. At least today I will be meeting MQ they all at Xia Duo.. nothing can go wrong rite? Haha keeping my fingers crossed and we shall just wait & see bah. Hee

B4 I proceed to my reflections for this yr, Let me start with something positive sia.
Just a quick update. i am now teaching my colleagues at work on how to use the PC. And simple programs like word & excel. I mean, it is v rewarding. Some of them had nvr touched the pc/keyboard b4. they r apprehensive yet excited, inconfident yet enthusiastic. It is really a pleasure to teach them. From the basic of turning on the pc/monitor, explanation of the keys on the keyboard. Den to how to type in words. (both Chinese & English, basic stuffs like how to edit e word to e way they want, how to open new file, save etc) den proceed to simple excel skills on forms creation, simple formulas. They r reali serious in learning & it is indeed enjoyable to teach them. Althou I must admit it is rather diff to explain everything in Chinese and they r pretty slow at times. Needs a lot of patience.gd training for me as well I guess. So in order to let them have more practice, I brought my laptop to work these 2 days to let them try.. hee and now I am typing away on the company transport. But coz e space btw seats r too small, I cant put my screen vertically and so basically, I am merely staring at e keyboard but cant see wat I am typig haha

2005. rather eventful yr. thou I cant reai remember wat I had done whole yr long. I mean, it is like such an eventful & long yr. so many changes to my life man. Recalling, I guess e firest thing I did was to take part in CS day.

CSC day 2005
basically an event organized by CSC (comm. Service club) in jan thi yr. we invited residents fm all he dif homes to NUS to have a day of fun (carnival –like wh performance).. I was in e prog team under GUOzhang, working wif Fred also & with my 3 seniors, JW, Vic &JJ. E whole organizing experience is v enriching & v fun. Glad to noe GZ & Fred thru this. Hey r v nice & fun-loving ppl. Esp like quabbling wif GZ. Haha. We always quarrel all we want BUT we managed to get things done. Quite well I tink. Haha.

@ Wonderkids
Continued as prez at wonderkids.. working wif e new exo for new season. Initially I keep poking my nose into wat they do. As a mean to guide them,.. had high expectations of e new batch. Tried to take part in more activities organized by them also. V glad tat the new batch is v united & bonded real well. Seniors dun come so often liao. But understandable. As wat JJ always say, seniors have to leave somehow, tat’s when juniors come in. tat’s how things work also. Reluctantly, gt to accept it as wat it is. Tinkin back, 5 mths without wonderkids, make me rather empty at times. Last time, every wk, there is wonderkids for me to look forward to. It gt sth to do with the magic of e kids, e satisfaction fm doing sth meaningful, e love for facilitating , e special touch fm all e volunteers tat make volunteering such a wholesome & gratifying experience. I stil rcv individual emails fm yishunyahoogp. And v glad tat they r moving on v well. bringing yishun to greater heights. Everyone I know r taking up big roles and r v suitable for them. Nt putting their capability to waste. KL,XQ,EK,Quek,fred etc.. so glad for them. XH also doing a great job. However, also sad coz I am no longer part of e gp. CSC/yishunwonderkids used to form e largest part of my MSN contacts. It stil is, but it is also e most dormant liao. Dun reali hear fm most of them. Haha, is it part of moving on also? I miss them.

CHEM ENG life
Oops. Just realized I dun recall much abt academic life. Even had a hard time trying to recall wat modules I took lor. Jialat.. basically a so-so semester lah. Caps also so-so, motivation so-so. But enjoyed company with e class. More interaction wif PRC coz of labwork too. Hmm, tinkin back I tink for some unknown reasons, I dun seem to be able to perform nowadays. Distraction?not reali also. Den wat? I duno. Tink I need a break fm e mundane studying, tuition etc. tiredz & need a break fm e norm..

NOC decision.- to go or nt to go
Ya.. althou I gt into NOC in sem 3. e idea of gg overseas for a yr did nt reali sink into me. I know I gt myself into sth quite prestigious. By right, most others who get in will be most glad. But for me.. I was rather hestitant coz I dunno wat I want. Gg china will be exicting but den am I willing to give everything up? including an opportunity to go to some prestigious petroleum company for intern? Somemore, my family financial nt tat gd and my family nt tat supportive after all. nt spportive as they dun understand watt is prog is abt. Why cant just stay in Singapore? Why need to go for so long? I nvr travel b4, let alone go and live for a yr.. can I take e loneliness? Can I take care of myself? Can I take e cold? Unlimited questions which I hate to answer. Perhaps coz I cant convince myself tat I can do it also but dun wanna let an opportunity go like dat.I keep putting e idea away & told myself to conc on studies first. Wait til I gt a company offer. Den I shall decide.

COMPANY offer
Yup. Indeed I gt. 2 b4 y decision was made and 1 after. I thought seriously abt it for v v long. Decided on my current job now. e seemingly most boring/lowest pay/wulu location one/& alone.regret?nope. no regrets man! I am stil learning.

Meeting of friends & departure
Yupz. Met up wif many frenz. They r all nice to me. Many gave me lots of souveniors & took e trouble to send me off. Reali v grateful for tat. And I stil rem e departure at e airport. How sad I am to leave and how some of my frenz tear for me. I am reali v fortunate to have a bunch of super gd frenz.

Life in shanghai
Hmm, wat to say? A v gd learning ground. Learnt many things. At work, on survival skills. Get to meet inspiring ppl at times. Gt to play & travel too. Happening & enriching.
Also there is this thing abt Freedom vs loneliness.
Yesh I am free to do wat I want. Dun need to answer to anyone.no need to consult anyone. Sometimes, when I consult, e response I get is “up to u”. I hate hearing tat. E reason of askin is I duno yet u stil say up to me. Ya, so tis leads to e other side of e coin. I have to live like an independent indivdual here. no one has obligations to be there for me... at times when I feel low, when I dun wanna be alone, I might call others but I cant bring myself to ask for company. I will merely hope for others to sense my helplessness and mebbe offer help. But it seems like unfulfilled hopes nor empty promises only serve to make things worse. Tink perhaps, it is better to stop being so naïve and stop hoping.gt to learn to behave like a grown-up liao. Cant depend on others all e time. Esp when they have no obligations to do so.. no wonder ppl say gg overseas can cultivate independence. The emotional void can reali get to me sometime. Discussed it wif HL b4. tink she is feeling it too. But even feel a greater extend den me & cant wait to be back. For me, stil nt tat bad, onli when boliao or when things get to me den more affected by it. So, reali gt a lot more to learn for me.

Okok, v long liao. Even of reflection liao. Now waiting for e guys to go eat breadfast wif meiqing & me. **hungry**